here i am again. another chance lost. i wonder if it really is my own indecisiveness or the restrictions that are set upon myself. but aren't these restrictions really set upon me by me. why can i not juz choose to not conform to what they want. well, here i am, at home. the first few to be here, while she might only be on the way back now. well their playing "cards" at marina square, well kinda lame using post cards. but well we do so love the game.
it was juz yesterday, when another chance was lost to me. i guess i could have (as they say) "nie nie" go out, more easily translated to Juz Do it. well i didn't. could have gone airport budden. well dun really see the point. why try with all means to spend time with a person, when we are really spending the time as a grp, and in their eyes, spending their time more with others then myself. extra? no i'm not really extra... budden.... what would i do, with so many pple arnd..... even if we're alone, would i do anything? unlikely.... what to do.....
currently listening to "L'autre valse d'Amelie" well frm the french show Amelie Poulain. can't really explain the beauty of the song, but well it somehow cheers me up for some reason. but isn't it juz momentary joy. it can never stay. my purporse in life is still not definite. and the joy tat would bring joy to me..... is juz not quite there.........
"where do i from here?" i wonder tooo. kinda supposed to do something called "studies". but well, the heart juz hasn't gone in there yet. now all i have to do is find tat heart. or has it flown to serangoon ave 3. tat would be quite sad...... argh, i also dunno what i'm muttering abt. going quite mad... why me? why anybody?.....
seee.......... juz post it.